Saturday, September 10, 2011

When it comes to fantasy football, for me, it's all about the team name

Despite only making the playoffs one time in my previous eight seasons participating in fantasy football, I've decided to try again this year. Just like last season, I will be playing in a "free" league on that an old high school buddy runs.

I don't know why I've never been successful in fantasy football. I've always had a love for the sport of football and possess a great deal of knowledge about it, but just like those real football players who possess great skill but lack dedication, maybe I have never quite taken fantasy seriously enough. I don't necessarily sit around and research the fourth-string running back on team X. It hardly ever occurs to me to snatch-up the back-up tight end from team Z in the hopes that the starter gets hurt, and I can swoop-in with my guy and collect those points. I don't spend weeks preparing for the draft.

The draft in my new league is automated, and it's happening on September 4th. I haven't even looked at the rankings. Should I adjust them? Maybe I'll leave them be. What can it hurt? What's going to happen? I'm going to miss the playoffs again? I'm immuned to that.

This attitude is probably why I'm no longer in any "pay" leagues. Like those NFL players with unfullilled promise, I'm in the fantasy football version of the UFL. I'm playing in a league with an automated draft against people I don't even know.

When it comes to fantasy football, I guess my priorities have always been out of alignment. I worry about the wrong things, like talking trash to the other teams in the "comments" section, and of course, picking my team name.

Like an NFL receiver who can't leave the locker room unless his uniform looks pristine, for me, my team name has always been the most important thing to me.

I thought I had some good ones in season's past, but this season? Man, I think I have the best one in the history of the industry:

Horrible Losses.

You've heard of the movie, Horrible Bosses, haven't you? Well, I went to see that movie with my girlfriend earlier this summer, and while sitting in the theater enjoying the film, the name for my 2011 fantasy team hit me like a James Harrison tackle. I knew I had to be in some league just so I could unveil the name Horrible Losses to the world.

My team names from the past--The Bubby Bristers, The Edmund Nelsons, Juiced-up All-pros, Tenacious T, Tony Desire (my heel name if I'm ever a wrestler), and TJ And The Bear--you guys served me well in the past, but I think I've found my true team name this season.

Yes sir. I'll probably miss the playoffs this season (what else is new?), but I'm already declaring myself FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM NAME CHAMPION!


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