Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Casey Heynes takes a stand. My take on bullying

I know this is a sports blog, but occasionally I like to step away from sports and talk about other things.

I've seen a lot of youtube "sensations" in my time, but nothing that I've seen has inspired me and many others as much as the Casey Heynes story.

For those of you who don't know, Casey Heynes is the 15 year old Australian teenager who was being bullied by 12 year old Ritchard Gale. He was repeatedly punched in the face as other kids stood by and mocked Heynes, cheered on Gale, and oh yes, video-taped the incident for their own enjoyment.

Casey, considerably bigger than his bully, had decided he'd had enough of the punishment and grabbed a hold of Gale, lifted him up and slammed him down on the pavement with his legs taking most of the punishment. Afterwards, Heynes walked away.

Naturally, the video surfaced on youtube and soon, Heynes and Gale became public figures with Casey emerging as a hero to many people around the world.

Speaking for myself, I can certainly relate to being bullied in school. From about the sixth grade all-the-way through high school, I was mocked, teased, beaten up and had some of my property destroyed.

I was beat up at my bus stop in the sixth grade for no reason other than I was just standing there, I was spit on in the 7th grade, I had my belongings torn out of my gym locker and thrown all over the place for no apparent reason in the 10th grade, etc, etc, etc.

Why was I the subject of so much abuse? Easy, I grew up overweight. I wasn't morbidly obese, just overweight and in school, even being slightly overweight is enough to make you an easy target. Casey Heynes has said that he'd been bullied for a long time and the main reason was his weight.

I grew up a pretty outgoing kid. I wasn't shy by any stretch of the imagination, but once I started to become a target for so many kids because of the way I looked and the clothes I wore, I quickly retreated into a shell and remained there well into my 20's. When you're constantly being told that you're nothing, you start to believe it.

I hated every second of school. I didn't want to be there and my grades suffered because of it. There were classes that I just dreaded, not because the work was too hard, but because I knew "Johnny the Bully" would be in that class and would say or do something that would embarrass be in front of everyone else.

In 11th grade, I took geometry and wasn't doing that well initially, but after a few months, I started to understand it better and my grades picked up slightly. However, one day in class, this kid made a remark about my appearance, everyone in the classroom got a laugh at my expense and it was so embarrassing, that I didn't even want to be in that class anymore. From that moment on, anytime I had to go to geometry, I almost became physically ill. I eventually failed that class.

I'm not saying any of this because I want people to feel sorry for me. All kids get picked on from time-to-time but there are some things that children shouldn't have to go through and just because the people doing it to them also happen to be kids doesn't make it okay.

If Casey Heynes truly was the subject of ridicule and bullying for many years, he probably felt trapped. See, when you're a kid, you HAVE to go to school. It's the law. When you're an adult and there are guys at the local bar who like to act like idiots and give you a hard time, you can decide to go somewhere else for Happy Hour, but when you're a kid, school is your world; you have no choice and it's as big a part of you as anything.

There is nothing worse than sitting in a classroom worried about what's going to happen to you when you're at recess or walking home from school. I had to live with that fear a lot, especially in middle school where kids seem to act the craziest.

There was a time in the 8th grade when I was walking home from school and two kids started throwing rocks at me and smacking me in the head. Why? I don't know, but there wasn't anyone around to help me or any adults to stop it. What did I do? I picked up a much bigger rock and threatened to throw it at them. They started swearing and running away but they didn't throw anymore rocks at me. Had I unleashed that much bigger rock at those kids, who knows what would have happened, but I was only in the 8th grade and, at that moment, I wasn't thinking about the consequences. I was getting smacked in the head with rocks and was pretty scared.

That's what I mean when I say there are certain things that children shouldn't have to put up with, even from other children.

In high school, I didn't receive much physical abuse because, as I said, I was bigger (200 pounds) and a lot of kids assumed I was strong (I wasn't). However, I was the subject of much emotional and mental abuse, and that's certainly another form of bullying and often, to a developing teenager, even worse than physical abuse. Getting picked on by "Sally the Cheerleader"and her friends can be even more traumatizing to an insecure teenage boy than being punched in the face by "Johnny the Jackass."

In an interview, Heynes said that he even contemplated suicide because of everything that was happening to him. How many teens have committed suicide over the years because they were constantly being bullied and abused in school? If nothing else, maybe this little incident prevented Casey Heynes from becoming just another statistic.

Ever since the Casey Heynes video surfaced, there are so many people out there who act as if this kind of stuff just started happening and want to know what can be done to stop it. I don't know if there's anything that can be done to stop bullies, but some parents certainly don't help matters any with their "My little "Johnny" or "Jenny" would never do anything like that" attitude any time their kid gets into trouble for harassing another child. And I don't remember too many teachers or anyone with authority coming to my rescue when I was being bullied in school. Maybe the only way to stop it is what Casey Heynes did.

Bullying has been going on for years and there have certainly been countless people who have fought back like Casey Heynes did, but thanks to youtube, his story is out there for everyone to see, and hopefully, learn from.

Right now, Ritchard Gale is probably one of the biggest villains in the world, and that might sound mean because he is only 12 years old, but maybe it will teach him, and thousands of other kids like him, that we live in a different world now and with cameras everywhere, nobody is safe from ridicule and scrutiny, even schoolyard bullies.

I certainly don't condone violence in any way and am glad that Ritchard Gale didn't suffer any serious trauma, but I am proud of Casey Heynes for what he did. I wish I would have stood up for myself a little more when I was younger. I was never at the point of being suicidal, but I hated just about every second of school from sixth grade on and, let's face it, when you're not comfortable in your environment, you cannot thrive. I've long-since crawled out of that shell I was in and am now the person and personality I was meant to be all along, but even to this day, when I'm anywhere near a classroom, I get chills. I am not comfortable in that environment at all.

Perhaps Casey Heynes has enabled himself to live out the rest of his school years in a comfortable environment and thrive like I wish I had.

I'm proud of you, Casey Heynes!

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