It's over! Last night, the Pittsburgh Pirates finally lifted the 13-month curse and defeated the Milwaukee Brewers, 9-2. Admittedly, it was a rather strong curse as the Pirates had to play two-games to actually slay the dragon, but an exorcised demon is an exorcised demon, and I'll take it any way I can get it.
Like a lot of fans, I'm very superstitious when it comes to my favorite teams, and I believe my course of actions yesterday had a lot to do with the Pirates finally ending their Milwaukee woes.
Below is a timeline for my Monday activities:
9:23am: I visit Bob Smizik's blog and start following a pretty heated-discussion between "pro-Nuttings" and "anti-Nuttings."
9:25am: I doze-off and smack my face on my laptop. This really leaves a mark.
10:01am: I research Rickie Weeks' injury-status online and come upon the wikipedia page of former Doobie Brothers bassist, Willie Weeks, and that leads me to watch a Youtube video of the Doobie Brother hit, "Real Love." Michael Mcdonald was the best front-man for the Doobies. I don't care what anyone says. I never do find out if Rickie Weeks is off the disabled-list.
10:32am: I'm back on Smizik's blog arguing with a fan about the Pirates' spending in the draft and how that is the only way for a small-market team to possibly compete in the current MLB financial-climate. The fan tells me that the Pirates need to go out and sign a Clemente-type. I tell him that with today's baseball economics, a Clemente-type would never sign with a team like the Pirates because they couldn't afford him. The fan then tells me he witnessed Clemente's 3000th hit and says that I am just a young punk. I ask him what seeing Clemente's 3000-hit has to do with the current situation. He tells me to get a hair cut and calls me a no-good "pro-Nutter."
10:34am: I punch my laptop 21 times in-honor of Roberto Clemente.
11:00am: I leave for work, but not before placing a fresh-baked apple pie right outside my apartment door with the hopes that the aroma will reach PNC Park and distract Prince Fielder into having a poor performance in the double-header.
12pm-5pm: I log-onto Bucsdugout.com 215 times to see if anyone else has commented/rec'd my "I really hate the Milwaukee Brewers" and/or "the irrational expectations for Pedro Alvarez" posts from last week. I'm really self-absorbed.
6:16pm: I design a Ryan Braun voodoo doll, but instead of sticking it with a pin, I take a super ball and continuously pitch to the doll up-and-in.
7:15pm: Ryan Braun homers in the top of the 9th inning and the Brewers crush the Pirates, 8-1, in game-one of the double-header.
7:22pm: After Braun's homer, I decide I've had enough of this jerk and drill the Braun voodoo doll right in the backside. The Braun doll doesn't charge me, but later on, I see it bitching out my Barbie doll for not retaliating against me.
8:02pm: I arrive home from work to find my apple pie gone. Prince Fielder goes 0 for 5in game one. You draw your own conclusions.
8:40pm: I see that the Brewers are ahead, 2-0, in the top of the first-inning of game-two and decide I will never, ever care about the Pirates again.
10:30pm: I ask my girlfriend to check the score of the Pirates game on her cell-phone, and she gets annoyed and calls me a cheap SOB for not having the Internet on my phone.
11:06pm: I hear that the Pirates have defeated the Milwaukee Brewers, 9-2, and I pump my fist, knowing that I believed in them all-along.
Well, there it is. My routine from yesterday. If you'd like, you can copy this list as it seems to have very powerful benefits for the Pittsburgh Pirates.
I plan on repeating Monday's routine anytime the Pirates play the Brewers the rest of this season.
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